Three reasons why I keep on pushing you away:
i. I am nothing but a mess. Being with me will bring no good to you. I swear, I always fuck things up. I can never be good enough for you and I am nothing but a mistake. I don’t want you to experience misfortunes because of me. I don’t want you to feel sad because of me. I push you away not because I do not like you. It’s because you mean so much to me that I do not want to cause any harm to you.
ii. I will disappoint you countless of times. Yes, darling. I am a living disappointment. It seems like I cannot do anything right. I hope you see the flaws in me and eventually give up on me. I don’t want you to stay any longer with me. There are a lot of people who can make you happy twice as much as I do. I push you away not because I do not want you. It’s because you mean so much to me that I do not want see a frown in your face.
iii. I want to see if you would still bother coming back to me after I pushed you away. I want to know if you would love me despite of my fucked up attitude and my flaws. I want to know if you’d bother telling me that I am perfect and that you don’t mind suffering the consequences of being with me. I push you away not because I do not love you. It’s because you mean so much to me that loving me back the way I do would be so nice.
kilala kita :) i miss you too. ikaw din :)
prof sa solid mensuration: “actually gusto ko kayong icongratulate sa pagkuha ng engineering course kasi dito madami talaga analyzation na kailangang gawin. kailangan dito ang knowledge, skill sa paggamit ng knowledge at skill sa pag analyze. so kahit late na, welcome sa engineering”
ako: welcome to engineering? more like, welcome to hell.. haha jk
hahahaha okay. azar kasi ng solid mensuration puro pagmemorize ng formulas fck. ang dami dami as in madami. huhuhuhu chapter 1 palang and 30+ na formulas na ata ang kailangan imemorize shet. huhu. tapos self study ka talaga kasi kailangan before ka pumasok sa room kinabuksan dapat may alam ka kasi kung wala, wala ka ding maiintindihan kasi ang bilis magturo. wtf. tapos kailangan answeran lahat ng exercises sa book kasi ipapass before mag midterm. hay ok. pahirap ang solid. buti pa ang algebra huhu.
thanks to my parents hahaha hahaha what goodevening che!! :*
hahahahaha as if may something. ayun di ko naman sila nakikita. (‘sila’ kasi madami akong crush lol) pero okay lang kaya kong mabuhay ng di sila nakikita hahaha pampadagdag lang naman thrill sa araw kapag andyan sila eh haha :)
hindi masyado. para kasi saakin nabubuo ang true love kapag mas tumatagal ang isang relasyon, kasi habang tumatagal mas lalo nating nakikilala at natatanggap ang karelasyon natin, mas minamahal natin ang flaws nila kesa sa mga positive sides nya. para saakin yan ang true love. kapag sinabi nya na “mahal kita kahit baduy ka manamit at masungit ka. mahal kita kahit ang itim ng kilikili mo. mahal kita kahit sa mga bad hair days mo. mahal kita kahit topakin ka.” ayoko kasi na mahal lang nya yung magagandang side ko.
azar parang lahat ng nararamdaman ko o pangyayari sa buhay ko nababasa ko sa mga posts sa dash ko hahaha but it feels good to know na may nakakaintindi at nakakarelate sayo 😃
The sad moment when you realize how alone you actually are. No one ever messages you first or texts you first or anything. So it gets to the point where you don’t want to put in the effort with people who don’t put in any effort for you, so you end up spending your life at home, never going anywhere.
I don’t have a lot of friends, nobody begs me to stay when I have to go, I rarely get messages, nobody tells me they need me, and nobody waits for me to come online. But none of that really matters to me because the only thing I care about is making people smile. If I can just make 1 person smile each day, even just a tiny smile that lasts a split second, nothing else matters.
Confession #3158: Nakakapagod din pala maging malakas. at nakakaiyak isipin na lahat ng tao sa paligid mo iniisip na okay ka.. na kahit anong mangyare palaging magiging okay ka dahil nasanay sila na malakas ka.